We always hope that our relationship will last forever. In marriage, it’s “until death do us part”- but sometimes, that just isn’t meant to last. Divorce is sometimes the only option you have in a failing marriage, and it can be terrifying.
How can you amicably get through your divorce with as little pain as possible?
A peaceful divorce doesn’t have to be a dream. With these simple steps, you can keep you and your ex on good terms and get your family through a difficult time.
Run Through Your Other Options First
Before going through with a divorce, you should consider all of your other options available. There are ways that you can get through a bumpy relationship without ending things.
Marriage counseling can be a great opportunity to get the two of you past a rough patch. A good counselor can help facilitate good communication and get your problems aired, then figure out a way to help you solve your issues.
If after counseling, you still find yourself struggling, it’s time to move forward with the divorce. Follow the next steps to keep yourself and your family in good spirits.
Keep Mutual Respect Between You and Your Ex
In the weeks leading up to your divorce, it’s important that you and your ex stay on good terms with one another. Do what you can to keep things light and friendly between the two of you, especially around any kids you may have. This will make the process less difficult.
If you are struggling with this, you may want to get away from your ex for a while. Whether this means staying with family members or a friend, you need to avoid causing additional damage during an already difficult time.
Speak With an Attorney About Your Options for a Peaceful Divorce
A divorce attorney can help walk you through the divorce process and get you access to all of your options. Having someone else work with you while you’re struggling will give you the best chance to get through the process more quickly and easily.
They can also help with back-and-forth communication with your ex so that you are both involved in the proceedings.
Give Yourself Time to Grieve
The loss of a long-lasting relationship is not going to be easy. It’s crucial that you give yourself time to deal with the loss during and after the divorce process so that you can work through your emotions in a healthy way.
Have Fun with Your Kids and Family
If you had kids while in your relationship, then now is a good time to spend with them. They are going to be having just as difficult a time with this as you and will need your reassurance and care.
Make sure you take a moment to enjoy life with them. Spend some time doing your favorite activities and just have fun. This will show them that even though things are changing, you will still be there for them and that you love them. It will also be good for your mental health, and the mental health of your kids.
Prepare for Your Future
There’s going to be a lot of changes in the weeks following your divorce, so you’ll need to prepare yourself. You’ll need plenty of time to arrange custody agreements and who gets what in the separation, which you’ll want to be planned out ahead of time.
You’ll also want to consider what you want for your personal life going forward. Consider your living arrangements and your income changes now that you’re single again.
Your divorce attorney can help you with these preparations, so don’t be afraid to ask questions.
Manage Your Difficult Emotions
After the divorce proceedings are over, you are going to have a lot of emotions to work through. It’s important to handle them respectively as they come and give them the attention they deserve.
You may feel like crying a lot during the first few weeks or months, and that’s ok. Let yourself feel what you’re feeling in a healthy way and work through your emotions responsibly.
Speak with a Therapist or Counselor
If you’re struggling to handle your emotions in a healthy way, you may want to see a therapist or counselor to walk you through your feelings. They can help you both understand what you’re feeling and help you find ways to cope with your emotions.
You may also want to consider family counseling for you and your kids. They are likely going to struggle with the idea of divorce, especially depending on how old they are. If you see them having issues in school or notice behavioral changes, family or personal counseling may be a good option for you and your kids.
Make Healthy Lifestyle Changes
Certain lifestyle changes can also improve your mood after such a serious life event. In order to keep yourself from falling into depression, some goals that you can set for yourself are:
- Exercising regularly
- Eating a healthy diet
- Avoiding alcohol and other substances
- Getting a good amount of healthy sleep
- Continuing your work as usual
- Keeping your home clean and tidy
- Talking with your friends and family on a regular basis
- Taking time to do things you enjoy
- Stick to a schedule
By keeping a healthy and active lifestyle, you can keep yourself in a decent mood even after a divorce. Pay attention to your wants and needs, and push past your negative feelings.
Separate Without Pain
A peaceful divorce isn’t as hard as it may seem. By following these steps, you can get through your divorce proceedings with a light and happy heart and move forward to better days.
What have you learned? How did you get through your divorce?
We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave a comment down below with your experiences, and continue reading our blog for more helpful relationship advice.